Putting the best foot forward !

Telephone rings at the Unit headquarter

Soaked in blood, gasping for breath to collect all his strength, upholding a strong guard on his emotional outburst, maintaining his position of command, Major Dutta relays the entire incident with meticulous precision to the officer on the other side. 

His men were still panic stricken and his only companion in this inconceivable moment was his alert brain.‘Get the stretcher’ he frantically ordered, almost asthmatic, as he took the support of the wall to stand. 

Having lost a lot of blood, he chaotically pulled out his boot lace to tie it around his thighs and knees, trying his best to stave off the gruesome sight of the left overs of his left leg, blown in a mine blast, with exposed flesh, vulnerably holding on each other with strands of skin.

‘The stretcher is broken Sir, came a frantic cry from one of his men; ‘This can’t be, I had surveyed the medical equipments just  couple of days’ were his frenzied thoughts as he studied the situation to get a hold on it. He was out of time ! 

20 minutes had passed and the pain was cutting through his body with vengeance, almost on the verge of taking control over him. The wind slapping against the thin thread of skin, needlessly holding on to the remnants of his heel was agonising and he needed to get rid of it.

With the excessive blood loss and the difficult terrain ,the only option that Gaurav ( Major Dutta) had was to reach the other side of the valley  to the unit headquarter on his stretcher. Amidst the difficult  climb, with the risk of being exposed to the enemy, were fleeting thoughts of his daughter and his wife, who  he had spoken to just the previous evening, But he needed to detach & declutter himself to keep up the spirits of his men bearing the weight of his body. 

The doctor's assistant met Gaurav and his men mid way through the ascent and with marvellous dexterity, keeping pace with the shaky run, inserted the drip in both the hands.

They soon reached the OT and even before he knew or could prepare himself for what was about to happen next, an attendant came and lifted him holding his right leg and shoulder. They held both his arms tight , to avoid resistance, and sprayed concentrated hydrogen peroxide on his exposed flesh. With no pain killers ,he had to fend for himself against the stinging, stabbing and unendurable pain. It was sharp, shrill & resounding, touching every part of his body, as he bellowed in agony. 

From here on it was a long 8 hour journey to the base hospital where he would finally be treated. The thought of his wife and daughter continued to linger as he fought to keep his eyes open. 

They reached the hospital at 6:30 in the morning next day and from a man in control he was now somebody who was controlled, a patient.  

In the darkest of hours, a man’s insistence to survive is so strong that it pumps him with emotional gumption to deal with anything, sometimes the vulnerable emotions of others . After the operation as Gaurav opened his eyes to look at the unfamiliar sight ,his unequal limbs. He looked right back at the nursing attendants staring at him in rapt attention to manage his distress and exclaimed ‘ If you think I am going to say ‘meri tang’ like Rajesh Khanna, then that’s not happening’. Everyone was in splits ! 

Blowing hot and cold, life was a spoilt sport. The agonising phantom pains that gave him sleepless nights, sometimes also stoked his unaddressed emotions of his hapless state. To add to his strife, his legs had to be re - amputated further by 2 inches to fit a better limb for him to be more active. A surgery like this intensified the severity of his phantom pains -  they were like 440 volts of electricity padding through his body ( can you imagine !)  and were accompanied by 8 injections everyday for 14 days. All this without out any pain killer or sleeping pill. They were addictive, the doctor said.

But like a candle that both defies and defines the darkness, so was he. Humour, fun and courage in and around him were catalysts of hope for him. He saw courage in the severely injured, some early 20s war wounded officers who carelessly played cricket in the hospital ward oblivious of their current incapabilities or the young soldier, without any limb, laughing at himself for having tea with a straw or yet another one valiantly showing off his ability to write with whatever was left of his upper limbs. 

Strokes of fun like  incessant rounds of cricket, board games in the hospital ward ,wild nights driving through the city shook him out of their sedentary life. It was also his way of being resolute of moving on. 

Getting a new limb was all that Gaurav yearned for. It was his only symbol of moving on , getting unhooked from his situation. And when he finally got them, it was like a toy that lent to his imagination the possibilities that lay within in. He was ecstatic. 

Learning how to walk with his new limb felt like a baby taking its first strides. But Gaurav constantly reminded himself of times when he had overcome bigger challenges and kept at it. As an avid sportsman he knew better - you fall, get up, dust the dirt off and get back to your game. He rationalised all his fears and was back on his feet in a record time of 3 days .

Gaurav wanted to get back to as things were before his accident and he persuaded his seniors to be back with his unit in Punjab, after a break of 10 month. But something within him was amiss. He couldn't remember the military terminology that was his 2nd language sometime back. He felt displaced and disconnected with his surroundings and pulled himself into a shell. This was the first time that he subtly realised the trauma his brain had been through. He missed the practise sessions by his unit and he slipped into a vacuum. But a remark by one his men on his absentmindedness,  who he lead once and played a role model to, was a wake call for Gaurav. 

He had to reinstate his position as their leader and role` model , both in emotional and physical strength. He HAD to be an EQUAL and MORE. He had to unstick himself from his current state and decided to court challenges to see for himself if he still had it in him. He waded through water , walked through long and difficult stretches of undulating terrain with long stretches of mucky land, strangely representing the contours of his own life. There was immense pain and discomfort. But he removed the noises from his head , the self deprecating thoughts and kept his focus on the goal to be an EQUAL. 

The units started basketball matches and as luck would have it one of the team members had to drop out because of an injury. Already at the edge of seat, Gaurav grabbed the opportunity when offered and played for the first time on his new limb for a stretch of 45 minutes against another unit to eventually win. Of course , they jumped out of their skin when they saw his artificial limb as he lifted his track pants to air his limb They had not only lost, but lost against a 4.5 member team. 

You can either be a product of your circumstances or of your decisions. The choice is yours!  

Gaurav’s perseverance and determination didn’t go unnoticed and he was once again viewed as a valuable asset and an EQUAL. He didn't settle for less and took on opportunities befitting his position of command. He continually raised the bar for himself by throwing himself to unfamiliar challenges and this time it was Golf. This was tough as the sport required him to put 70% of his weight on his left foot, which was not used to this kind of rigour. But not settling for less he was soon playing at his full potential in 6 months. 

As Thomas Jefferson rightly said “ The dreams of the future are better than the history of the past”. 

In 2009, he learnt of golf tournament organised by IWAS (International Wheelchair and Amputee Sports Federation) World Games in Bangalore with contingents from across 20 countries. His childhood dream of representing his country at international level now seemed inches away. And for him it was his underdog limb that propelled him to take those giant leaps towards them. He won a bronze medal.

Revelling in his strengths gave him faith & confidence in himself. It gave him a sense of purpose, which was to rehabilitate soldiers with similar conditions, in a meaningful manner, through sports. 

It wasn’t easy to enthuse soldiers whose despair had become ball and chain of their life, but Gaurav was hell bent. After having trained 10 soldiers on his own accord for sports at national level, he persuaded the  sports control board of the army to not only provide financial aid to those enrolling with him for training, but also to allow them to participate in the National Paralympic events. Leaving no stone unturned, he convinced the sports control board to promulgate a sports policy for disabled soldiers. After consistent perseverance for almost 2 years , it came into effect in 2014.  Not settling for anything less, they came back with 3 gold medals on their very first outing in 2015. This became a beacon for him to encourage other soldiers to be a part of his endeavor. In the past 3 national para athletics championships, his team of just 17 has won 20 medals in all. Not only did he realise his own dream , but gently stroked a fervour for life in others too. 

These were emotional moments that vindicated his stand that if you really want something then nothing can come in the way. You should just have to want it badly enough !

Stopping at nothing, he  now aimed at the international Paralympic events. Since 2015, his boys have won 5 gold medals and 2 silver medals for the country at the world stage. As on today he has 18 soldiers who have a new goal in life and 30, who are getting there. 

He continues to pursue his dream to set up a state of art training facility in the army and with his firm resolve this will soon be a reality. As for himself, he continues to expand and explore the horizons of his strengths as an avid Triathlete, having to swim 750 meters, cycle 20 Kms and run 5 Km. He has done 11 so far, and who knows there maybe many more to come. 

 Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. -Francis of Assi

This story has been written after in depth one to one discussions with Gaurav over many months. If you wish to reach me , please write into nag.sonal@gmail.com